Blessed

I have been thinking lately about the greatness of God: How He is good, and how He is faithful. Amid my pondering I realized that when we are not happy, it becomes so easy to let our thought processes slip into a skeptical, antagonistic way of thinking, and that that way of thinking will really mess us up.

The skeptical, antagonistic mind has trouble recognizing God as being faithful. When we are not where we'd hope to be in life, we begin to call God's faithfulness into question. I realized tonight that though we may not happy in some areas of life, whether it be spiritually, physically or mentally, that we need to stop being passive and lazily pointing a finger at God for the status of our situations, when God has fully equipped us with what we need to improve our situations.

A memory from my childhood surfaces: I was dog tired and trying to sleep one night, but was kept awake by a bug crawling on a piece of paper in my floor. The bug made so much noise, but I was so sleepy that I didn't want to move. I ended up praying that God would just strike the bug dead so that there would be silence and I could sleep. Upon ending my prayer, I heard "I gave you hands. Use them."

Of course, there are situations physical and spiritual that need divine intervention from God, but in the smaller aspects of day to day life, let us put forth the effort and use what God has given us to improve our lives in the areas that need to be improved upon.

Randomness

I've got to this post by thanking God for an answered prayer: Traci and Bill found our wedding video on their hard drive, and were able to send me, not one, but two copies of our Dec wedding! Yes, I am very happy!

I've been excited about the anniversary coming up, that I have given in and given Josh a couple early gifts. I brought him a huge bamboo plant that he has been wanting, but I didn't go small. With the help of two plant nursery workers, we crammed over 10 feet of bamboo plant into our vehicle. Needless to say, Josh was shocked. He didn't expect one that big, because they usually cost $85.00. I got this one for half price, too! Here's the top half of it. A year from now, it will have huge stalks. You can see how tall it is in comparison with our roof in the background.

On the things to be happy about list, the next in line would be the holidays being upon us.

Josh and I couldn't wait until after Thanksgiving to buy a tree, so we bought a Douglas Fir from a small family Christmas tree stand last night. The tree came together beautifully. In the background, you will see three puppy stockings belonging to Ben, Joe, and Ty. Jack Sparrow, the cat will soon have his very own stocking.

On this tree are some ornaments that just deserve being noted. Several State of TX ornaments are on the tree. They are badges of honor that attest to my strength for surviving working in a terrible place. I got one for every year I worked there, so now that I'm no longer there they just gleam so brightly on the Christmas tree every year. The second one is a dog that looks like Ty, all rolled in a strand of Christmas lights. My mom gave this to me last year. Still a favorite.

My next favorite thing about the holiday season is a chance to dress up for Christmas parties. I went shopping and came home with two dresses. My plan was to return the one Josh didn't like, but he liked them both. So what to do? I ridiculously took pictures of myself in the dresses and held a "Vote for the Dress" poll on my facebook profile. Below are pics of the winning red dress.

I learned that taking pics of myself is really difficult....and that I make strange faces in the process.

Now, we just have to figure out if Josh is going to go all out "big pimping'" in his white suite from Okinawa or not. We will be sure to post some pics soon.

OK, so this blog was kind of boring, but that's all I've got for now. We will be having Thanksgiving dinner with our neighbors, so I will post pics soon.

2 Years Already

December 3rd will mark officially mark two years that Josh and I have been married. Our two years have been good, wild, crazy and quite an adventure.


Josh has been a very good husband and I couldn't have found a better man to share my life with. I'm thankful for everything I've been given through our relationship.


I was so blessed to be able to have our wedding in Texas, in the beautiful hill country, and then a wonderful tropical wedding with family in Saipan. Two weddings. What more could a girl ask for? I still remember shopping for my wedding dress with my mom, and planning some details for the Saipan wedding with my future mom in law. Those were exciting times.

The sad thing is that I am hormonal right now, and really depressed to the point of tears, because I wanted to be able to watch our wedding DVDs on our anniversary, but the DVD of our wedding in Texas is still gone, MIA. It has been gone for two years now, and along with it, the original footage. All I have are some pictures. Before our trip to Saipan, Josh thought he copied the wedding DVD into our computer before we left. We left the DVD in Saipan, and returned home to find that Josh had not copied the DVD after all.

I am still scratching my head, thinking why wasn't more than one DVD made? Why did Josh think he had copied it onto our computer? Why is the original footage gone? Why haven't I been able to solve the case of the missing DVD in two years?

If anyone reading this knows where the wedding DVD might be, or has any footage of the Texas wedding, can you please, please, please let me know?

Pumpkin Carving Pics

I went to Walmart to have the tires on our car replaced, and during my three hour wait there I came across pumpkins on sale. I haven't carved a pumpkin in a while, so I brought two home with me.

This would be me, trying to capture a picture of excitement.

Here is Josh, having fun. Sorry I forgot to rotate the pic before I loaded it.

Gotta love my outfit. lol It was cold outside.

That's it!

Dog Beach Time!!!

Here are some pics from last weekend. We took the dogs to their favorite dog beach to burn off some energy.

Happy boys on their way to the dog beach.

Ty and I in the middle of a swim race. We're getting ready to turn around and go back to the beach.

I let the dogs win at the end. I wanted to stay in and enjoy the water.


Here's Josh's crazy hair. Yes, he finally has hair again!!!

Enjoying the sun.

Random Pic of Skyway Bridge

Another random Florida view on the way back from the dog beach.

Hillsborough County Traffic Cops

Working within the legal system on a daily basis, you find yourself weighing the justice in each situation you see. One of the sad injustices I've come across while in working within the legal field in Texas, was misuse and abuse of authority. Namely, favor being secured by "generous" contributions to certain campaigns.

Anyway, today I came across another blatant misuse of authority. When my husband was in Hillsborough county, stopped at a traffic light, the cop behind him decided he was bored and would run my husband's plates. He then proceeded to pull my husband over and tell him he was writing him a citation for expired vehicle registration. Our registration was still valid, as reflected by the vehicle stickers. This cop was obviously bored or just felt like harassing someone. Upon realizing his mistake, and that he couldn't write a ticket for expired tags, the cop began to survey our vehicle, and wrote my husband a citation for a burnt out light bulb. The cop told my husband that the fee would only be $7 if paid within 30 day. My husband made the ridiculously long drive to the sheriff's office to pay the fee within the 30 day period, and it turns out the cop had obviously lied to my husband, or was simply dumb, because they charged my husband $91.00. Yes, $91 freaking dollars for a burnt out light bulb! My husband and I didn't even know the bulb was burnt out, so it must have happened that day. What about a warning? Not a $91 ticket, just because you accidentally pull someone over by mistake?

So, stupid Hillsborough County got nearly $100 out of us by abusing their authority. I can't stand people who are supposed to represent justice being unjust.

A New Season

I have been enjoying the cool breezes of fall, but the fall breezes have more to bring with them than just relief from the warmth of summer. Along with them comes the fragrance of life unfolding the wonder of a fresh, new season. The fall winds have caused my mind to stir, just like the trees, rustling in the winds' blissful wake.

The newness in the air has awakened my senses to a newness in life. Following that parallel, I have been challenged to analyze the spiritual, mental, and physical status of myself, and to strive to create new life in each of those aspects. Just as a tree cannot go year around without dropping leaves, neither can a soul go on holding onto each "damaged leaf" it bears without those leaves slowing sapping life out of them. There are some things we have to let go. Only after letting those things go will we find the motivation, grace and strength to grow in other areas.

There have been times when I've associated my damaged leaves so closely with my identity, that I've mistaken one for the other. I have damaged leaves that I am in the process of dropping. So many, in fact, that I'm thinking if I were a tree, I'd be naked of leaves and wondering if I was still a tree. Yet, I'm aware that hanging onto damaged leaves causes decay, even in our relationships with our spouses.

Whether it be spiritually, physically, or mentally, I think there are some damaged leaves the Lord would like to see us drop, so that He can revive newness of life within us.

27th Birthday

I really enjoyed my birthday yesterday. Thanks to all of you who contributed to making my 27th b-day so wonderful. Below, is a pic of me expressing my excitement. (yes, that is a Christmas bag. Josh had to use what we had :)



Thanks to my awesome husband who spoiled me with a 3 day birthday weekend, and made me feel like a queen.

It all began on Thursday night, when Josh gave me some pre-birthday gifts.

My very thoughtful and wonderful husband drove all the way to the Tarpon Springs sponge docks to bring me this beautiful necklace and earring set. He also gave me a lotion that one of the shops at Tarpon. I commented on the lotion once, and Josh remembered. What a great guy! And the other gift in the bag was a gift card to America Eagle. Yay! Not to mention, Josh had booked a massage for me.

Here are beautiful birthday flowers sent from my family in Saipan.

Below is Joe giving me some birthday love.
We ate lunch at Cracker Barrel. I love their kids vegetable plate! I was talking to my sister while trying to pose for a quick picture.

Josh and I split the Apple Dumpling dessert. Though it was soooo good, I just couldn't finish my half.

After lunch, we went to the mall where I bought some new pants. At last, I have pants that aren't falling off of me. Thanks to Brit and Steve for the Old Navy gift card, and thanks to Josh for the American Eagle gift card. Thanks to my Mom, my Dad, Mamaw, Debbie, and Sarah for the spending money. Thanks to Saipan Mom and Dad for the beautiful birthday flowers.

After I got a massage, we went out for a pizza dinner since I haven't had pizza in a very long time. This is how I look with part of my head chopped off. lol

We ended the night with a dip in the swimming pool, which was the perfect end to a perfect night.

Thanks so much Josh for working so hard to make my birhtday memorable and wonderful. I'm blessed to have such a loving husband.

Life

I'm supposed to be cleaning the house right now, but I decided to take a break to do a new post. Josh and I have been working ourselves so much that we seem to have worn ourselves thin. Me with working extra hours, taking care of home repairs, house upkeep, grocery shopping, and taking care of our zoo. Josh with work, school finals, home repairs, pool maintenance and also caring for our zoo. We've gotten tired lately. Our marriage has grown to the next phase where instead of having excessive physical affection to express, we're just fall down in an exhausted heap together. Happy that at least we're together.

Though Josh had to work this weekend, we managed to make a quick get away to Tarpon Springs on Saturday for a lunch date. We ate at a lovely little Greek restaurant, right off the water. Our time there was reminiscent of when we had the time and the freedom to play earlier this year. It was also a good reminder to, whatever happens, make sure we both take a few minutes just to play together, and enjoy being together.

This would be me, making the stupidest face possible for the camera. This has become a common occurrence.
Here is Josh, rejoicing over the bed of lamb meat before him.

I must say that I married well. Despite how worn out we get, Josh still makes me smile. I am happy to be married to him.

The chaotic schedule of life lately has made me aware of how often we forget about the blessings in our life, just because we get too busy to think about them. I'm praying that even though I'm busy, I don't get too busy to thank God for every day that Josh and I have together....and that I don't forget to enjoy the little things, as well as the big things.

Josh's Birthday

At long last, I'm finally posting some pics of Josh's 25th brithday party. We had a great pool party here at the house. Plenty of meat was thrown on the grill, as we gathered with neighbors and friends to celebrate. Below are Shannon, Eric, Lindsay and the birthday boy.

Here is Zandra. She was a friend of Harry and Kelli's, but we stole her :)

The birthday cake just would not have been complete without all 25 candles!

12 of the candles were trick candles, but they didn't re-light. My evil plan went awry.

Joe was pretty happy with his odds of getting a bite of birthday cake.

And then Monday came, which was Josh's real official birthday. We celebrated at his restaurant of choice, where he was in Heaven with lobster tail and steak.

Austin Pics

Here are some pics I took on my trip to Austin. Enjoy!

The hurricane Ike didn't affect any of my flights, but it sure did mess with Texas. Sorry, Taco Shack, but your sign didn't work.

Here is a pic of my mom, not impressed that I snapped a quick pic without warning.

Below is a picture of Cholesterol on Wheels. Yes, this is what it appears. A cupcake stand that packs enough sugar to kill a horse.

I had to take a pic of the capitol while I was in Austin. Being from there, I had never taken a pic of the capitol. I thought I'd play the tourist for once.

Below are some ravenous creatures found in Traci & Bills kitchen.

Then Brit and I played in mom's old hippie clothes.

Perspective

I am back from my trip to Austin, and the visit triggered much thinking. I recall how while preparing for the trip, fond memories stirred in my head. Memories of being near family, the nostalgic places I wished to revisit, as well as the fond memories of my income level the last few years I lived there. Yes, Austin was my home base. It was something familiar, and something I knew well.

When God moved us from Austin to Florida, I struggled with the emotional pain of not having easy access to family members, as well as frustration about having to leave behind the state in which my massage therapy license was valid. I had many things to give up, and I fought with God about many of them. Even when I finally "surrendered to what God was doing", I found that I had the occasional root of bitterness spring up in me from time to time due to those factors. Through this, I realized that a sacrifice made out of love and obedience is a beautiful thing, but one made out of half heartedness and bitterness is an ugly thing.


I still have a soft spot in my mind for Austin, and I enjoyed seeing family. All of that aside, the trip made me realize something. It made me realize that I'm not exactly who I used to be. I began to wonder what has changed in my identity.

Many times I've heard people talk about "Finding yourself". I discovered, through much pain, that by yielding to the will of God, giving yourself up, giving your identity up, giving your income potential up, while not holding any bitterness for what you've given up, will give you a different identity. A better identity. I am still striving towards that better identity. The path isn't always easy, and there are many demons that mock along the way....so threatened by seeing a human being conforming to the image of Christ.

Love is a funny thing. We like to equate it with feelings of happiness and our needs being met, but all along, love is the opposite of selfishness. So, sometimes it hurts.

There are two kinds of people. 1) People who can, through God's strength, love even though it hurts and not be bitter and 2) People who love, but are bitter about the pain it causes, and therefore spend the rest of their lives miserable because they feel someone they "loved" did them wrong, or didn't do what they would have wanted.

The latter of the two are angry people. They are angry about what they have given up in the name of love. They are angry. Very angry. Not able to forgive, their faces grow bitter. Their anger turns outward. Part of them loves, while the other part of them causes destruction because of the pain of love. They are in constant battle with themselves.

If love is supposed to be a selfless thing, then why do so many of us try to love selfishly? What is the motive behind our love? Why are we still trying to hang onto things to be bitter about?

May God place within our hearts the ability to love like He has love us... And the strength to give up any bitterness or resentment that we have been holding onto. Grace and love are still there, if only the angry person will accept it.

Hopefully this post makes sense. I came back from the trip sick as a dog, and I'm writing with a fever.

The whole point is: What is the motivation behind your love?

Josh Turns 25

As I write this blog, I sit back and smile. After Josh's relentless teasing about me being older than him, I am counting down the days until September 8, 2008. Why? Because, that is the day that Josh will turn 25 years old. No longer on the down side of 20, but rather on the upside. I am hoping that this will stifle at least some of Josh's comments about me being old.

These pics are from Josh's 24th birthday.

With limited kitchen supplies, I managed to provide Josh with a birthday cake....as funny looking as it was. Then I settled for a big taper candle since I didn't have any small ones.

The dogs were eager to help devour the cake. I just had to get in on the action.

Looking back at those pics brings back good memories, but also reminds me of just how much has changed in one year. We have had many good times, and challenging times, but I am happy that I have gotten to share in a year of Josh's life so far.

When I think about where we were at this time last year, compared to where we are now, I am made aware of how hard Josh has worked to give us a better life. I am also reminded of how many times he has made me laugh in just one year of his life.

So, maybe he will spare me the teasing.... at least until October hits. Then it's birthday time for me. (Maybe without the sombrero this year :)

Getting older really isn't such a bad thing. Thanks for all the good times, Josh. There is no one I would rather grow older with than you.

Happy 25th!!!

Happy Things

I'm feeling a little emotional lately, because I'm missing family members, along with some other things, like my career in the gym back in Austin, my hometown.

It's amazing how volatile emotions are...how they can so easily make you overlook the fact that there is more good in your life than there is bad. One negative thing can distract you from enjoying all the things God put in front of you, and that is a sad thing. I am learning to be grateful for the way things are in the here and now, because the day may come when I realize how much I miss what I have now. I can't let myself become saddened to the point that I fail to be joyful for what I have.

Sometimes emotions cause us to forget logic. My mind has come to accept something as logic, and it is this: God has given me just the right amount of strength to make it through everything I've been through in the past. So, He will give me the strength and comfort to make it through these emotional moments.

And so this emotional moment beget inspiration. I have decided to write about things that make me happy.

1- My husband. He is goofy, pesky, and gassy, but altogether wonderful. He makes me laugh and smile a lot. He is the biggest blessing in my life, and has been a rock for me during my emotional "I'm falling apart" moments. He inspires me to be a better person, and he loves me faithfully. He is thoughtful even in the little things, and makes my life so much better than I had imagined it could be. He makes every day an adventure and is my best friend.

2- Family back in Texas- Sisters, Bro in laws, kids, Mom, Dad, fried okra made from the okra plants grown in the backyard. They always offer up what they have as community property, and man does Dad make the best fried okra. And then there is always Mamaw, with a nice bucket of iced tea and love. I am grateful that God has provided the funds for me to be able to hop on a plane and take the short flight back home. (note: I can't find the pic of the whole family to post)

3- My own personal zoo! - Yes, that would be my 6 animals. They sometimes they annoy me, but they give me more happy moments than bad moments. Featured above are 4 out of the 6 pets in our household.

4- Flowers- I really love flowers, especially the orchid plants growing in my back yard. Tropical flowers have always been a favorite. Getting married in a circle of flowers was a happy moment for me. How could it get any better than that?

5- Great in-laws that I really hope to get to know better and spend more time with in the future.

6- Mango Tangos for Breakfast- My best vacation memory was going on a cruise with my cousin Brandi. I was celebrating my 25th birthday by taking myself on a cruise. Brandi and I had a blast, thanks to Royal Caribbean Cruise liners. The memory of having a Mango Tango for breakfast, poolside every morning still makes me smile. I'm holding onto hopes of another Royal Caribbean cruise....and Brandi better be on that boat with me, because we know how to have fun together!

7-Tea- Beautiful tea. It makes me so happy to have a good cup of hot tea.

8- Starbuck's Coffee- A Venti Iced Americano with nonfat milk will always put me in a good mood.